Saying Grace

Wed, 01 Dec 2021 14:01:18 -0500

“How far you go in life depends on your being tender with the young, compassionate with the aged, sympathetic with the striving, and tolerant of the weak and strong. Because someday in your life you will have been all of these.” — Dr. George Washington Carver

"To serve, you only need a heart full of grace and a soul generated by love." — Rev. Dr. Martin Luther the King Jr.

Growing up, before food could touch lips, you had to say grace. I don’t care if it was thanksgiving and there were 30 people around the room or if I was at a fast food spot all by myself. To this day, before I eat, I say grace, even though I am not particularly religious. It is a habit that we have also instilled in our children. My grace has evolved from the “God is Grace, God is good, let us thank Him for our food…” of my childhood. It has become an expression of gratitude for the abundance that is reflected in my life and living. Whether it’s always sunny, or the storm is raging, I say grace. Whether before me sits a beautifully cooked steak or a dollar burger, I say grace. I’ve been thinking about the notion of grace a lot recently, especially when it comes to you all.

“Embrace what makes you unique, even if it makes others uncomfortable. I didn’t have to become perfect because I’ve learned throughout my journey that perfection is the enemy of greatness.” — Janelle Monae

“We will all, at some point, encounter hurdles to gaining access and entry, moving up and conquering self-doubt; but on the other side is the capacity to own opportunity and tell our own story.” — Stacey Abrams

This has been a LOOONG few semesters. None of us are the same now as we were two years ago, for better or for worse or both. But I am asking you to be intentional about giving yourself grace. I for one had big plans for how much healthier, wealthier, and wiser I was going to be coming out of the pandemic. I was going to exercise and meditate every day, drink smoothies and eat more kale and quinoa and save a bunch of money and listen to uplifting, empowering podcasts and read books that would make me grow as a human. Just between you and me, I may not have hit all those marks. In some ways I have drastically improved, in others I have stayed even, in some I have regressed. And still, I choose to show myself grace. It is too easy to let the anxiety of marks missed overwhelm the joy of targets hit. I’m here to tell you that grace is greater than guilt. Giving yourself grace doesn’t mean excusing poor choices, or ignoring bad habits. Grace is not cover for laziness. Giving yourself grace does mean not beating yourself up when things are challenging, or you feel like you’re taking L’s or things just aren’t going your way. It means looking for the pathway to victory, whatever that means for you, from wherever you are at the moment. There is a path, stop, think, feel, find it, and go.

“Your willingness to look at your darkness is what empowers you to change.” — Iyanla Vanzant

"You are not lucky to be here. The world needs your perspective. They are lucky to have you.” – Antonio Tijerino

Now that we’ve got you sorted, there is another ask. Give others grace as well. As we deal with the often harsh realities of the world and the differences between how America and other nations are experienced based on race, ethnicity, identity, or any characteristic of ourselves that allow us to be othered. We know that Privilege is real, whether those that have it choose to admit it or not. No matter how people choose to see what happened in Wisconsin, I’m pretty sure I know what will happen to me if I show up in these streets with an automatic weapon. But I also recognize someone else’s right to see it another way. That is the beauty of freedom and the essence of grace. We don’t have to agree, but we do have to be open. We also know that there is hope. A veritably all white jury in the deep south found three white men guilty of murder in a case that a mere 30 years ago likely would have never even made it to trial. Many of you have felt and continue to feel compelled to say something or do something. Some of you don’t feel that way at all. Remember that your very existence is an act of resistance. That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t say more or do more. It does mean that you should always strive to be more.

“Like the grasses showing tender faces to each other, thus should we do, for this was the wish of the Grandfathers of the World.” -- Heȟáka Sápa aka Black Elk

“Don’t settle for average. Bring your best to the moment. Then, whether it fails or succeeds, at least you know you gave all you had. We need to live the best that’s in us.” — Angela Bassett

What are we asking you to do?

1. Celebrate the wins. Big or small, celebrate them all.

2. Learn from the losses. There is always a lesson, pay attention so that you make sure to catch it.

3. Take a breath. No matter what is happening, it is not too much. You can get through it. When the anxiety mounts and the fear creeps in, start with the thing so simple that your body does it all on its own, take a long deep breath.

4. Take care of YOU. The world has reopened, but that doesn’t mean it feels or is safe. As you move, take care of your whole self in real and tangible ways. If you need help, get help. If you need help finding the help, just say something, we are here for you.

5. Take care of Business. You are here to get your degree. Life requires balance for sure but keep the main thing the main thing. You have persevered through pandemic, campus closure, zoom, all of it. Keep that same energy and get this done. The world needs to see the brilliance you have to offer.

Now go be great!