We like to think that whatever doesn't kill us makes us stronger, but the truth is that adversity only reinforces what's already there.

We’ve all had lunatic bosses. Steve Jobs was actually fired from Apple, the company he co-founded, because his management style was considered toxic. I have known quite a few CEOs and founders who went ballistic at the drop of a hat. It was pretty traumatic at times.

And you know what? I bet I’ve got some former employees who might say the same thing about me.

Sure, I admit, there were times when I lost it under pressure. I could have rationalized that sort of behavior with euphemisms like it comes with the territory or some other nonsense. But I’d like to think I found a better way. I faced it and decided it was time for a change.

The German philosopher Nietzsche said, “That which does not kill us makes us stronger.”

He was referring to survival in the face of adversity. It’s a great sentiment, one I’m sure we’d all like to be true. But in reality, it’s not, at least not for all of us. It depends on your true character.

There’s a lot written about the scourge of bad bosses. But there’s a flip side to the equation that doesn’t get a lot of ink. The question of whether leaders ever learn from their mistakes. Whether they become stronger in the face of adversity. It’s actually a situation that many of you will face.

You see, executives and business leaders often shoot themselves in the foot. Sometimes we even self-destruct. Nobody’s perfect; we all make mistakes. Sometimes we make big ones. If we’re reasonably self-aware, strong enough to look ourselves in the mirror and face what we see, then yes, we might come out of it stronger than before.

In a Stanford University commencement speech, Steve Jobs famously said, "I didn't see it then, but it turned out that getting fired from Apple was the best thing that could have ever happened to me. It was awful-tasting medicine, but I guess the patient needed it. Sometimes life hits you in the head with a brick."

We all know the rest of the story, how Jobs returned to Apple and turned the nearly bankrupt company into the world’s most valuable corporation. Clearly, the public humiliation of being fired from the company he loved ultimately brought out the best in him. It made him stronger.

I can give you a laundry list of people I’ve known and worked with who fit that same description. One chief executive of a late-stage start-up had his two top vice presidents resign on the same day. That might have severely crippled a lesser man’s confidence and resolve, but not his. He survived and, years later, took the company public in a highly successful IPO.

But all too often, that’s not the case. You see, I’ve also known and worked with many dysfunctional or incompetent leaders who lived in denial. When things went terribly wrong for them and their companies, they blamed it on everyone but themselves. In those cases, the only things that came out stronger than before were the walls that separate their overblown egos from reality.

The truth is that when things go wrong, we’re not always aware of what really happened or who’s at fault. Sometimes we never figure it out. So the question of accountability isn’t always as clear cut as it seems. Nevertheless, there are distinct signs of whether Nietzsche’s hypothesis will hold true for you.

If you’re the kind of person who thinks he has all the answers, whose ego writes checks that reality can’t cash, who hates to be wrong, who is always pointing fingers at everyone else, who holds himself accountable only when good things happen, then there’s a very good chance that you won’t do well in the face of adversity.

If, on the other hand, you’re a pretty grounded person, don’t take yourself too seriously, aren’t likely to judge others harshly, have a relatively objective sense of your own strengths and weaknesses, and are genuinely open and introspective when things go wrong, then life’s trials and tribulations will serve only to strengthen you.

With all due respect to Nietzsche, I would say, “What doesn’t kill you brings out your true character.”

You have certain obligations when it comes to security; even if you don’t collect giant piles of information about your users, most of the people who use anything you build will assume that their information is private. A security breach, even a minor one, can disrupt the trust your users have in you and and make it harder for your business to grow in the long run. The only way you can prevent that is to take your security seriously.

Think ‘Security Driven Development’

While security-driven development isn’t actually a thing, thinking about security’s place in your development process much the way you think about testing is useful. You want to be checking for security issues throughout the development process, not just when something goes wrong.

Depending on which languages you’re using, there are tools that check your code for bugs that lead to common security issues, like FindBugs for Java. Such tools won’t catch everything, but they’ll help resolve some big issues. Find the right tools and make them a standard part of your workflow.

If you’re working with a partner, code reviews can help find security issues during the development process. If not, you need to find a way to replicate that sort of review system. It can be expensive but, on top of internal review, arranging for regular security audits from an outside firm can keep your systems secure. Just how often depends on what you’re working on: a financial application needs security audits far more regularly than a social networking application.

Knowing Your Tools

Commonly used tools are an easy avenue of attack, because there’s more reason for someone to focus on finding a vulnerability — after all, finding a security vulnerability in Apache guarantees access to a lot more than finding a security vulnerability in some custom app someone wrote on their own.

At a bare minimum, you need to make sure that you hear about any security flaws that are announced, even if you’re working on a platform that usually notifies you of such issues. Subscribe to the appropriate mailing lists and consider setting up some alerts on Google or elsewhere to email you when keywords related to security flaws are mentioned.

Online Security isn’t Your Only Worry

Not all security breaches are an issue of someone finding a vulnerability that they can access online. Think about how many news reports on major security breaches refer to someone leaving their laptop somewhere they shouldn’t have. Physical access to your systems can also be a problem. Depending on what you print out, you may need to consider how to safeguard your hard copy as well.

You don’t have to go overboard with paranoia. But it is important to take the situation seriously. Buy a shredder. Put your backups in a secure location, not in a buddy’s house in another state. Take the steps you need to be sure that your company’s data is safe.

Image by Flickr user m thierry

I'm in the business of backing great teams, not stealing from them. In other words, you're going to have to trust me.

You've come to my place, at my invitation, so that we can talk about your idea. We drink a little coffee, we trade pleasantries, and then, when the talk becomes serious, you pull out an NDA. The Non-Disclosure Agreement is a staple of business everywhere. Your idea is valuable; you need to protect it.

So why am I exiting the room 10 minutes later?

There are two basic facts you need to understand.

First, my job as a professional investor is to look at as many investment opportunities as possible. We call this deal flow. And there can never be enough. An NDA kills deal flow. It limits what I can look at, discuss with my partners and outside advisers, and eventually execute some level of due diligence upon. I can’t run my business with handcuffs on. (As a side note, if I am good and I create buckets of deal flow, and I sign NDA’s for some amount of them, I now have to remember what I can talk about and what I cannot.)

So either you understand that or you think that you are special and should be an exception.

Second, I am in the business of backing great teams working on great ideas. Inherent in this new relationship is trust. I am not going to steal your idea. I don’t have time to build a company--I invest in companies. I am not in the business of pitching your idea to others to build. And most important, if I did this just once, I would be labeled and my deal flow would disappear.

What does this mean for you?

Keep the NDA in your pocket for future contractors, employees, and business partners. You got that meeting with an investor? Congratulations, you have made it past gate No. 1. Now, sell that investor on yourself and your idea.

Thinking of starting a company? There are many things you need to consider, but first, are you even ready?

As a recovering serial entrepreneur, the unsolicited question I get asked most often is some version of: "How do I know if it's the right time to start my own business?"

You'd think this would be a hard question to answer. After all, everyone who asks has differing motivations, different plans, different resources--so the answer has to be different for each person, right?

Surprisingly, I find that isn't the case. For most people, the answer is the same. It comes in four parts (the kicker is in the first part):

1. If you have to ask, the time isn't now. Trust this simple rule.

The time to launch your own business is when you no longer need to ask anyone's advise, because you're in a position where you can't not do it.

Put simply, when the time is right, every sinew and tendon in your body, every thought, every synapse, will scream it--and you won't need to ask anyone else's opinion.

Don't get me wrong, asking questions is good (see point four below), but asking this question is a sure sign the time isn't right...yet.

2. There will never be a "right time." Conversely, it's essential to understand that there is no "right time" to launch a new business. There is no ideal economic environment, no perfect market window, no flawless product idea that will guarantee your new business will be a success.

Mediocre products launched in a down economy can be the platform for a successful business (I know, I've been there, multiple times); insanely brilliant products launched in a roaring bull market can collapse like a badly made souffle (been there too, sadly).

The "right time" is when you're ready--no more, no less. Don't look outside for indications as to when the time is right to launch your own business. Look inside, to your own desires and commitment. Launch when you can't not launch, and don't get hung up on the externals.

3. Read this book. While you're waiting for your own "right time", do yourself a huge favor and read this book: The Entrepreneur Equation by Carol Roth is the best guide there is on the considerations to take into account before launching a new venture.

Don't let the cover confuse you. This is tough love for any wannabe entrepreneur. If you can finish this book and still say that you are committed to launching your own business, then your chance of success will be considerably improved. (Fair disclosure, the author is a friend, but we became friends after I read and admired her book.)

4. Come back for advice after you've launched. As we've already established, the fact that you're asking probably means that now is not the right time for you to launch a business, but that doesn't mean that asking questions is wrong.

Quite the opposite. Asking questions after you've launched is essential if you are to move from start-up to viable business. Too many founder/owners launch their new business in "broadcast" mode: "Here we are, here's what we do, aren't we great, buy my product (or service)."

It's like an obnoxious first date with someone intent on bragging to you about all they've achieved, and boasting about all their great attributes.

To succeed, and to get your new business out of what I call Early Struggle, a monologue won't cut it. You need to be in a dialogue: with your potential customers and clients; with your supply chain; with your funders; and yes, with other people who have been there, and done that.

So, while this may not be the right time for you to start your own business, who knows, maybe it will be - in two weeks, two months, two years from now. And when the time is right, you will come back and ask questions, won't you? I'd love for us to have a dialogue.

Office bullies don't just make life miserable for their victims, say a pair of new studies, they also infect a wider circle of colleagues with their nastiness.

This time of year viruses carry health misery around offices, but according to the latest science, it's not just the flu that's catching. A wide range of behavior, from laughter through obesity, has been shown to spread through networks much like the latest bug.

And now, according to recent studies, we can add one more item to the list of the highly contagious: being a jerk.

You know that an obnoxious boss can make life miserable for his or her direct reports, but new research covered at length in HBR this month, shows that tormented victims are actually more likely to engage in office nastiness themselves, thereby spreading the unpleasantness in a widening circle around an organization.

A blog post by the studies authors, Christine Porath and Christine Pearson, sums up the findings: "stress isn't the only reason people are uncivil at work. In our current HBR article, we present research findings that about one in four people are rude because their bosses are rude. Employees notice what seems to be working then they follow that lead, for better or worse." They go on to offer suggestions for individuals and organizations to counter this effect.

Porath and Pearson aren't the only researchers to document this secondhand rudeness. WebMD recently reported new research from University of New Hampshire organizational behavior professor Paul Harvey which likewise shows that jerks infect their colleagues with their bullying behavior.

"Abusive bosses not only cause misery for the employees they target, but they also poison the work environment for the victims' co-workers," reports the article. How? The researchers write: "Employees realize that the organization is allowing this negative treatment to exist, even if they are not experiencing it directly."

The takeaway here for business owners isn't a mystery. Obviously, if you're guilty of occasional nastiness yourself, cut it out immediately. You're doing more harm than you may have realized. But even if you're the picture of civility yourself, these latest findings are more evidence tipping the scales towards a zero tolerance policy for jerks at your company, even if they're high-performing jerks.

Have you noticed bad behavior spread this way in your own professional life?