I spent five days (and four nights) last week at STRiVE 2010, UMBC’s student leadership retreat in the mountains outside of Frederick. I’m still feeling the effects of nonstop activity and too little sleep, but mainly I’m thrilled about the experience I had with the 45 student participants and my 10 co-facilitators (some of whom were students, some members of the UMBC staff). Most of us did not know each other when the week began, but the activities, stories and challenges we shared brought us all together in profound ways.
On the first night, the participants reflected on their ‘peak experiences’: those rare moments in their lives when they had felt most fulfilled and complete, and unafraid to reveal their true selves. For many of us, what we created together over the next four days was a shared peak experience. That is a part of what real leadership is about: Helping others to step beyond their everyday roles to tap their deepest passions and talents, and creating environments in which it is possible to transcend everyday constraints. 
By design, STRiVE 2010 incorporated features that often factor into people’s peak experiences. The setting was novel: a departure from familiar habits and routines. In the absence of all the cues that tend to lock them into their everyday ways of being, STRiVE participants and coaches were freed to explore and tap hidden dimensions of their personalities and potential. What emerged felt deeply honest and real.Like many of the participants’ previous peak experiences, STRiVE 2010 involved risk and uncertainty. Participants were challenged repeatedly to share their thoughts, histories and identities with relative strangers and to stretch their limits in public. One of the final STRiVE activities involved sharing honest, critical feedback with individual peers. What emerged was incredibly powerful, educational and fulfilling. I was taken aback by the boldness and generosity of the small group of students with whom I worked most closely: Agnes, Phil, Yulim, Shin-Yee, Mahelet, Craig, Brian, Arielle and Damani. They dared to speak truths to each other, helped each other become better leaders, and took their relationships to a higher plane.
Peak experiences often involve a specific kind of support from others: an affirmation that it is perfectly OK to be exactly who you truly are. STRiVE’s facilitators tried to help participants feel that sense of acceptance and permission to blossom, but would have failed if the participants had not stepped up to help and support each other. Together we created a community in which members felt strong and safe enough to put their best, most loving and hopeful selves forward. Being able to build that kind of community is one of the most elusive but essential skills of any leader who hopes to mobilize others to contribute to the common good.
I'm deeply grateful to have been able to share the STRiVE 2010 experience with my 55 friends, and look forward to helping the participants pursue their visions of change on campus and beyond. As they do, I hope they will find new ways to extend the STRiVE spirit within the UMBC community, so that even more members feel connected, supported and affirmed in revealing and living as their best and truest selves.
