The end the spring semester is only a few weeks away and soon almost 3,500 residents will be moving out.  Some will move on to new opportunities, such as internships, co-ops, or even trips abroad.  However, most of them will be returning home, returning to you:

There are several things you can do to make the move out process easier for you and your student.  The main thing is to be knowledgeable about the end of semester calendar. 

• The last day of classes is Tuesday, May 14
• Final exams run from Thursday May 16 through Tuesday May 21st. 
• The residence halls and apartments will be closing on Tuesday, May 21 at 8:00pm. 

If you live locally, you can help your student get prepared for the move out process by having them take bring the majority of their items home during the weekend before finals (or sooner!).  This will make the move out process run more smoothly and put less pressure on them since they won’t have to try to squeeze everything into one car load.  Please know that they will also need to leave their room in a clean condition.  Cleaning supplies will be available at the desk of each community to aid in this process.

It is important to recognize that students have different feelings about returning home.  While the majority will be excited about going home, others may approach it with more apprehension.  This hesitation is caused by any number of reasons, but some of the more common ones are sadness that they will be leaving their friends behind, while others may be afraid of disappointing you.  Maybe their spring courses didn’t go as well as planned, or maybe they want to change their major but are not sure of how to tell you.

Your students will be going through a change when they come home, just like when they transitioned to college in August.  “Change requires people to make transitions and it is these necessary transitions rather then the changes themselves that are difficult.” (ACUHO-I, 1996, p. 82) This change will also exist for you as parents, as well.  For some this will be positive, others negative, and for some of you, you many not even notice a difference, other than possibly an increase in dishes and laundry.

You students will experience this transition in four primary aspects of their lives: their roles, their relationship, their routines, and their assumptions about themselves and the world.  (ACUHO-I, 1996)

Their roles:  They may have been very studious in high school, an outgoing individual, they may have left home with blonde hair but come home a brunette.  During college your student has begun to find their own identities.  How they dress, how they look, how they interact with others, and how they see themselves may have changed.  Some changes may be drastic, but most will be subtle as they learn who they want to be. 

Their routines:  This is often the hardest adjustment when students come home.  They have been used to setting their own schedules for the past 9 months.  They eat, sleep, and study when they want.  They have no curfews.  The only person holding them accountable was themselves.  They now need to adjust to the routines that you have established in your household and this can cause some friction with your newly independent student.  Be open and flexible and trust that they did alright for the past 9 months making their own decisions. 

Their relationships:  In addition, your student has spent the past 9 months having a shared experience with some new friends.  They may have gone through homesickness, relationship changes, finals, and many special times that had an impact on who they are becoming as adults.  The people who have come and gone in their lives are often different then the one’s that were influential in their lives prior to college.  Romantic relationships may have ended or blossomed, students may find when they come home from college that they do not have as much in common with their best friend anymore.  These changes can be hard for students and for you as the players who are influential. 

Their assumptions:  Students may find the summer break a time to reflect on many different things:  are they in the right major, what do they want to do with their life, did they pick the right classes, when are they going to get to see their now long distance partner? 

The summer provides students the chance to think about what their past has been like, what they want their future to hold and how they go about getting it.  For many parents, the summer is a time to look at your student and see the adult that they are becoming.

Source: BASIC-an ACUHO-I Publication, 1996