Thanksgiving: An In-Depth Analysis of “Holiday Madness”

Fri, 18 Dec 2009 12:06:36 -0500
food-facts, ricky

Thanksgiving is one of those holidays many of us look forward to celebrating. Usually, families and friends of various generations come together to have food and fun while relaxing and spending some quality time together. It’s also that time of year those relatives we’ve been keeping at a distance, come a callin’- you know the ones we’ve spent the rest of the year avoiding! I believe that every family has at least one of the following in order to make this holiday truly special. First, there’s the uncle who has the same flashbacks about the war, only each year they tend to be a bit more embellished with bravery than the year. This guy also can’t eat turkey unless he gets the drumstick, so you do what you can to keep him quiet (give him both of them)! Then there’s the aunt who always insist on making the stuffing with fruit of some sort (which everybody hates), but since she’s seeing a therapist and trying the newest anti-depressant on the market, no one wants to hurt her feelings by asking her to please stop. Let’s not forget mom-she offers to have Thanksgiving dinner at our house every year and then proceeds to slam dishes and throw pots and pans around the stove because the man of the house-we’ll call him “Pops,” began his day watching NFL coverage on The NFL Network and of course, with football comes that necessary log of holiday sausage, beer, big burps and constant complaints about having to wear “big boy” pants! Perhaps you have the sister who insist on singing her latest library of karaoke hits- all 63 of them because any audience beats no audience at all! And let’s not forget the cousins- there’s the professional student (he’s been “going to school” for something since the 90’s yet with each passing year, he’s only been able to produce more “baby-momma drama” and more hungry children than he has fingers), and she shows up looking like she’s auditioning for a Victoria’s Secret runway show. She can’t eat much “cause she’s goin’ to the club,” yet her plate ends up looking like she’s eating for two, heck three! Nonetheless, we all manage to be civil (almost happy) long enough to share a meal at least once a year.

With that said, the Thanksgiving meal-which I like to refer to as “The Main Event” always manages to take my mind off of the craziness that surrounds it. Unfortunately, on Thanksgiving I have no personal favorites- I love it all- from the turkey to the overindulgence of carbs, including but certainly not limited to homemade mac & cheese, stuffing, mashed potatoes, sweet potatoes AND sweet-potato rolls! I like to prepare for the meal by not eating anything that morning. I just take in some juice, usually orange, to keep my sugar level up and avoid slipping into that dreaded “turkey coma” early on in the event! I have discovered over the years, that moving through Thanksgiving more like the tortoise, rather than the hare, is the secret to “maximum holiday meal consumption!”

I never rush in for dessert- I let dessert come to me (probably because by that point of the evening I can hardly move and my words have started to slur as a result of shear exhaustion). However, I always, I repeat ALWAYS manage to muddle through, making my way from the assortment of cobblers and pies, straight to the “Cou-De-Gra” (the fat-lady angels begin to sing here), my momma’s cherry cheesecake! Once I’ve had that, game over! Check-mate! My Thanksgiving is complete!

This year, I ended the day, curled up in the fetal position, watching DVDs with my mom. To be honest, I did have grander plans when the day started out, but I’m starting to realize that my stamina for the unknown tends to dwindle away when I’m faced with an eating marathon, of sorts! I’m not as young as I used to be, so I don’t beat myself up too much about it! I have learned to let Thanksgiving Day have its way with me- and it works, for both me, and the family… Happy Holidays! Love, Peace and all that other warm, fuzzy stuff- from my family to yours!

- Ricky