-By Amy Taylor, Social Work/Music Major

Humans are wired for belonging. We crave connection, shared purpose, and safety within groups. But not every group that promises community delivers it. Some take that longing and twist it into control. It often happens slowly, without people inside the group noticing. Nobody is immune to these organizations because they prey on people who are going through any sort of life change or who feel alone. As a college student, being away from family and friends for the first time can make one vulnerable to groups that offer “instant community.” College is a time when many students are rebuilding their sense of belonging from scratch, which makes it both exciting and vulnerable terrain.

Born Into Control

I learned about community and control during my earliest years, primarily through what community was not. I was born into a family of eight kids, the third-born and oldest girl. For the first 20 years of my life, my parents raised my siblings and me in a high-control organization (HCO). I knew nothing about a healthy community because the HCO dictated where we went to church, what type of education we received or did not, what we wore, what we did with our time and money, and who we would associate with. 

Identity and Expression

High-control organizations prescribe identities to their members, leaving little room for self-expression or discovery. As a child, I was forced to wear clothes I hated, such as long skirts (never pants) that swept the floor in length. My parents made sure that I was painfully modest, wearing baggy shirts that covered any indication that I was a woman, including my collarbone. At the large HCO conferences my family frequented, we had to wear white tops and long navy skirts. The message to me as a woman was clear: ‘cover up, sit down, shut up.’ I am thrilled to say that I overthrew their control, and today I enjoy putting outfits together that express who I am. I dress in vibrant colors and patterns, and even sport blue hair. These little things express my freedom as an individual; they bring me joy and, in a way, make up for lost time. I learned, through contrast, that true community embraces individual expression and differences. In a good community, you can be yourself, because conformity isn’t a value or a virtue.

Leadership and Power

In a healthy community, leadership styles are transparent, service-oriented, and accountable. High control organizations are authoritarian, hierarchical, and unquestionable. The leader of our HCO was not a musician, but he would put families on a pedestal if they were. They were treated with more respect and admiration than other members of the organization. Until they slipped up, of course, if one member of the family committed some faux pas, they were publicly shamed, shunned, and/or banished from the graces of the HCO. To this day, I don’t enjoy being placed on a pedestal for any reason, especially music. While I believe that music is a gift to be shared, I refuse to believe that I am ‘special’ because I’m a musician.

Information and Education

Access to information is, undeniably, a fundamental human right. In a healthy community, that right is expressed through open communication and transparency as well as access to all information. This was not my experience growing up in a high-control organization. All children were restricted to be “homeschooled” for all 12 grades and even beyond. I put the word homeschooled in quotation marks to avoid confusion. I did not receive a proper education. 

My days were spent absorbing propaganda released by the high-control organization. This propaganda was designed to distort our thinking by twisting history, science, or any other “school” subject into wild and wrong teachings for us to assimilate into our lives. When I wasn’t busy poring over propaganda, I was taught to read, write, and perform simple arithmetic. That’s all. When it came time for me to learn algebra, I didn’t understand what the book was telling me, and I went to my mother and asked to be placed in tutoring. Her response aligned with the HCO’s teaching; she ripped the book out of my hands and said, “One day you are going to be a wife and a mother; you don’t need to learn algebra.” At the age of thirty, I enrolled in community college, received some tutoring, and crushed four semesters of algebra, a fact that still makes me proud today. 

My mother’s censorship reached into what we read as well as what we watched. Each book that entered our house had to be approved by both my parents and the high-control organization. Once, I was given a Molly American Girl Doll book. My parents declared it evil and threw it out the day I got it. Most books I wanted to read got thrown out. We were, instead, encouraged to read about Christian martyrs, all of them coated with the subtextual suggestion that I would perhaps one day face the same fate. While I hope most parents would protect their young children from witnessing violence in movies, my parents were obsessed with it. I was banned from watching Disney movies (I saw my first one at the age of 21), but I was encouraged to watch Christians being burned at the stake (because that might be me one day). My earliest memory of films is watching a movie about Dutch nazi resistor Corrie ten Boom and her time in a concentration camp – incredibly violent, and totally inappropriate for a six-year-old. Instead of having access to age-appropriate material for learning and growing, I was being inundated with frightening messages about what my future would hold. Fear is the glue that holds high-control organizations together.

In a high-control organization, information is controlled, restricted, or distorted in some way. It might not look exactly like my story. Still, censorship and the fear of information are a dark road meant to keep people ingesting pre-selected information while discouraging critical thinking.

Freedom of Thought

Freedom of thought is essential to healthy communities; these communities encourage questioning, critical thinking, and dialogue. In a high-control organization, doubt, dissent, or independent thinking is discouraged and even punished. Thinking for myself was considered dangerous because groupthink was the only acceptable way to exist in the high-control organization. As a Christian, I was heavily shamed for asking questions and threatened with ostracism from my church and the HCO. 

Leaving the Trap

That being said, my diaries were my place of refuge. I wrote endless questions in there, and I compared what I was experiencing in my family to other families or individuals I encountered. I felt safe writing in these diaries because no one ever read them. I was able to think critically about all my experiences, and even at the tender age of ten, I was aware that something in my little world wasn’t quite right. 

Often, people ask me, “How did you get out?” The answer starts with those diaries and a kids’ radio program that depicted children who liked being near their parents (shocker) because their parents were kind to them. I was afraid of my parents. To me, these programs were a stark contrast to the way I was being raised, and I started journaling, ‘Do I deserve to be treated better?’ Eventually, I came to the conclusion that my parents were never going to care for, protect, or provide for me the way I needed. When two of my brothers planned to move out, I moved out with them. 

Building True Community

The ramifications of leaving both the family and the high-control organization were daunting. I was threatened with excommunication, and while that was painful, it no longer felt like annihilation because I was ready to start creating a community of my own. Eventually, I learned through trial and error that the best communities are the ones you forge on your own, not pre-packaged ones that offer instant friendships, pre-made activities, and, eventually, a boatload of hidden rules and restrictions. Today my community is thriving. I have friends and family who are close to me; we stay in regular contact, and together we support each other through all of life’s ups and downs. I am open and friendly with many people, but I have a close circle of friends who are my ride-or-die. I’m thrilled that that circle of friends does not have a leader lording themselves over us. It feels good to be free.

What I’ve noticed about belonging and inclusion is that while high-control organizations accept people conditionally based on conformity and a twisted sense of loyalty, healthy communities base them on empathy, diversity, inclusion, and respect. Today, I get to choose the people in my circle. We laugh, cry, and grow together. There is no hierarchy, no hidden rules, no fear. Just connection. That’s what community should be.

Coming and Going

So if high-control organizations are so awful, why do people join? Answer? They don’t. No one wakes up one day and says, “I wanna join a cult” or “I want someone else to prescribe my identity” or “I want some leader to dictate everything I do.” People don’t willingly or naturally give up their freedoms. There are well-defined psychological, physical, emotional, and social manipulations that lure people into these organizations. In the beginning, it’s all very exciting because we think we’ve found our tribe.  Only time reveals the trap: HCOs want to use you and discard you. When it comes to exits and boundaries, an HCO will leave you feeling discouraged, shamed, or punished. Sometimes, the threat of losing everyone in the group is a powerful manipulation to make you stay. However, healthy groups allow people to leave freely without stigma or threats.

What About You?

College is often a time of transition, self-discovery, and searching for belonging. You might meet groups that promise friendship, meaning, grandiose purpose, and “instant community,” but it’s important to pause and think critically. Healthy communities celebrate your individuality, encourage your questions, and let you come and go freely. High-control organizations, on the other hand, disguise control as care and conformity as commitment. Before giving away your trust, ask yourself: Can I be fully myself here? Can I speak up, disagree, or walk away without fear or shame? If the answer is no, then it’s not a tribe, it’s a trap. You deserve relationships and spaces where your freedom, curiosity, and identity are safe. True community doesn’t require you to shrink, it helps you grow. In the end, the difference between a tribe and a trap is freedom – the freedom to think, to question, to express, and to leave. True community doesn’t demand your loyalty; it earns your trust and your love.

If you are caught up in a high-control organization, remember there is hope, help, and resources on the other side. There are many people (including me) waiting to support and encourage you on your journey to find a healthy community. Leaving is hard; it’s easy to feel really alone, especially if your family or close friends stay in the HCO. But I’d encourage you to remember that your journey is just starting. The world is full of many people waiting to connect with you. Get some support, tell your story, and stay free.

Resources

International Cultic Studies Association https://www.icsahome.com/

Freedom of Mind Resource Center (founded by Steven Hassan, cult expert and former member of the Moonies)

 freedomofmind.com

The Open Minds Foundation

openmindsfoundation.org

Focuses on education and awareness about undue influence, manipulation, and coercive control.

Dear UMBC Campus Community,

I am writing to share an update on our progress in developing the UMBC Strategic Plan.

The Strategic Plan Steering Committee has met three times this fall to advance our work on the five strategic plan pillars. These pillars were shaped by the feedback shared by our community in the Bold Conversations and Core Values survey. As a reminder, the five pillars are:

• Grow Student Opportunity and Success
• Transform Teaching and Learning
• Redefine Excellence in Research and Creative Achievement
• Cultivate Organizational Innovation and Vitality
• Strengthen Maryland and Its Communities

The strategic plan committee members have been divided into five Pillar Subgroups, each tasked with developing a plan for their particular pillar through the spring semester. Once the pillar plans are drafted, the committee will undertake several steps to ensure that the final UMBC strategic plan is ready to share with the community in the fall of 2026.

We will be seeking assistance from our community in developing these plans. Some of you may receive outreach in early 2026 to engage in planning; this outreach could be through a survey, focus group, or other method chosen by the pillar subgroups. I encourage those of you who receive outreach to engage in this important work on behalf of UMBC. It is essential that we hear voices from across campus and benefit from community expertise, perspectives, and ideas.

There will also be several opportunities for the larger campus community to share feedback. News about these opportunities will be posted in the myUMBC Strategic Planning group. Please follow this group as soon as you can to ensure you are in the know regarding events, activities, and forums led by the strategic plan committee to engage with you, because we want to hear from as many community members as possible to ensure that the strategic plan is our community's plan for the future.

I also want to note that the current strategic planning website will be updated soon. It is being redesigned to ensure easy access to strategic planning process key information. The new site will include an interactive timeline focusing on major milestones, a page with the steering committee roster, and a form to provide feedback.

Thank you in advance for your engagement and feedback in support of our UMBC strategic planning process. I am excited about what the coming months will bring in developing the plan, and I look forward to seeing you at related events.

Warmest regards,

Dr. Charissa Cheah
Professor of Psychology and Asian Studies Faculty Affiliate
Chair, UMBC Strategic Plan Steering Committee

***reposted from UMBC AI***

As part of the 2nd Annual HDR Machine Learning Challenge, UMBC's iHARP project, along with other NSF HDR Institutes, is hosting a kick-off virtual hackathon on December 18th (2 - 5 PM EST) that will take palce in Gathertown.

They invite students, researchers, and practitioners of ALL levels to join in. See flyer here. Interested students and faculty can register here to receive participant details. Teams/Groups are welcome! 

UMBC's IHARP team looks forward to seeing you in Gathertown for the virtual hackathon on December 18.

Dear International Students and Scholars,

As the fall semester comes to a close, the Center for Global Engagement recognizes that many members of our community may have travel plans that include travel outside of the United States. We understand that travel is a personal decision and we are writing today to equip you with information to help guide your planning. 

Important Travel Considerations

We strongly encourage careful review of potential risks before finalizing international travel plans, and monitoring for changes that may impact your plans. New immigration policies may decrease travel flexibility and increase the risk of travel and reentry delays for foreign nationals. Understanding your immigration status within the changing policy landscape can help you prepare and plan for the upcoming travel season. We strongly recommend that you consider:

• Monitoring existing or prospective travel bans. Travel bans for 19 countries were announced June 4, 2025 and are still in effect. This may make it impossible for citizens of impacted countries to obtain a visa or return to the United States. Homeland Security Secretary Kristi Noem recently indicated that additional travel bans will be added, although no additional information about those plans has been published as of the date of this announcement. If additional travel restrictions are implemented, they may be put into effect swiftly and without advance notice. We strongly encourage you not to travel internationally if you are from one of the 19 countries with a current travel ban or if you are from a country that was previously reported to be included in a future travel ban.

• Appointment availability and potential delays if you must renew your visa. Traveling for the sole purpose of renewing your F, H or J visa is not necessary. However, if you absolutely must travel and also need a new visa, delays in visa processing are expected. We strongly recommend that you schedule your appointment at the U.S. consulate or embassy before you depart the United States. If you encounter any delays or difficulties in returning to the U.S. by your required return date, please notify UMBC's Office of International Students and Scholars (OISS) as soon as possible.

• Enhanced social media screening and vetting. During a visa application, social media screening is now in effect for all F and J visa applicants. Social media screening will be implemented for all H visa applicants beginning December 15, 2025. There are reports that a number of H-1B and H-4 visa appointments scheduled on or after December 15, 2025 have been canceled and rescheduled for March 2026. H visa applicants should carefully consider their travel plans in anticipation that their visa appointment may be rescheduled, and they will be prohibited from returning to the U.S. until a valid visa is issued.

• Enhanced screening at U.S. ports of entry. If you decide to travel abroad, be prepared for enhanced screening by the U.S. Customs and Border Protection (CBP) upon your return to the U.S. You may be asked to present your electronic devices and passwords for access. You may find information from ACLU about your rights at the airport to be helpful.

• Your own tolerance for risk and uncertainty. Consider whether your personal risk assessment indicates a high likelihood of travel complications, if you will be unable to afford the possibility of a visa denial or delayed re-entry, or if the prospect of increased questioning at consulates or ports of entry causes significant anxiety. If any of these are the case, it may be advisable to postpone your travel plans.

Documentation to prepare in advance of your travel

If you do decide to travel outside of the U.S., it is important to prepare all documentation before you depart the United States and check the validity of all documentation. If you are in F-1 or J-1 status, a travel signature is required on the form I-20 or DS-2019. Travel within the U.S. does not require updated travel signatures; however, you must carry your proof of immigration status with you.

Please review the following requirements based on your visa type:

• F-1 currently enrolled students or on OPT/STEM: Be sure to check that you have a travel endorsement on page 2 of your form I-20 that will still be valid on the date that you return to the U.S. Check your passport validity and the expiration date of your F-1 visa to make sure it will be valid on the date you plan to return. For other recommended documentation, please follow the guidance for enrolled F-1 students and students pursuing post-graduation OPT or STEM OPT. For enrolled students, ensure that you are registered for Spring 2026 classes and that you will return to the U.S. prior to the start of the semester on Monday, January 26, 2026.

• J-1 Exchange Visitors: Be sure to check that you have a travel endorsement on the bottom right corner of page 1 of your DS-2019 that will still be valid on the date you return to the U.S. Check your passport validity and the expiration date of your J-1 visa to make sure it will be valid on the date of your return. For J-1 scholars or researchers, it is recommended that you take a copy of your signed appointment letter with you. For enrolled J-1 students, ensure that you are registered for Spring 2026 classes and that you will return to the U.S. prior to the start of the semester on Monday, January 26, 2026.

• H-1B employees: Be sure to check that your passport will be valid for six months beyond the entire period of your H-1B approved stay (see dates on form I-797 approval notice) in the U.S. and confirm that the visa in your passport is unexpired and reflects your current H-1B classification. Take your notice of approval (form I-797), your latest appointment letter, and a copy of the full petition (located in your box folder).

• If you have a pending change of status to H-1B, you should not travel until the change of status is approved. Departing the U.S. while it is pending is considered an abandonment of the request. If the petition is later denied, you may become subject to the $100,000 fee.

• Traveling while an H-1B petition and extension of stay or amendment of stay is pending should not trigger the fee, though caution is still advised.

What to do during and after your return to the United States

If you have questions in advance of your return to the U.S., please contact OISS. If you encounter any difficulties while attempting to enter the United States, please contact UMBC Police at +1-410-455-5555 and they will get in touch with someone from our team.

After your successful re-entry to the U.S., please download and review your electronic I-94 immediately to make sure that entry in the correct visa status is reflected. If you notice any discrepancies, please contact OISS.

We wish safe travels to those choosing to travel during the winter break, and we hope that all members of our community have a chance to rest and recharge before the start of the Spring 2026 semester.

Sincerely,

Katrina Knudsen

Director, Office of International Students and Scholars

In an email to the campus community, UMBC President Valerie Sheares Ashby has announced that D. Paul Monteiro, Jr., will join the university as vice president for government relations and community affairs. The letter follows in full:

Dear UMBC Community,

I am delighted to announce the appointment of D. Paul Monteiro, Jr., as our new vice president for government relations and community affairs. Paul is an experienced administrator and lifelong public servant who has held leadership roles in local, state, and federal government and in higher education. He served most recently as the inaugural secretary of the Maryland Department of Service and Civic Innovation.

Prior to his appointment to Governor Wes Moore’s cabinet in 2023, Paul was nominated by U.S. President Joe Biden and confirmed by the Senate in 2022 as director of the U.S. Department of Justice Community Relations Service (CRS). Created by the Civil Rights Act of 1964, CRS works to mitigate community tensions based on race, color, national origin, sexual orientation, religion, or disability. Paul had served as acting director of CRS from 2015 to 2017, before taking on a role as chief of staff to the president and assistant vice president of external affairs at Howard University.

Paul’s public service goes back many years. He served from 2009 to 2013 in the Obama administration as an associate director in the Office of Public Engagement, and he was appointed by President Barack Obama as national director of AmeriCorps Volunteers in Service to America (VISTA). During his time on the White House staff, Paul coordinated the My Brother’s Keeper mentorship program for young men and served as a liaison to numerous religious, secular, and ethnic communities, including Arab American and Afghan American groups.

A former ex-officio member of the National Counterterrorism Center’s Heritage Council, Paul was awarded a citation from the National Security Council in 2013 for his work on international priorities, including the Global Entrepreneurship Summit, refugee resettlement, and other humanitarian efforts.

Locally, he has served as a member of the Prince George’s County Public Schools Board of Education, the Emerging Leaders Impact Fund in Prince George’s County, the Board of Governors of Wesley Theological Seminary in Washington, D.C., and the Board of Advisors of the Madison House Autism Foundation, based in Rockville.

Raised in Hyattsville, Maryland, Paul is the proud son of immigrants and was the first in his family to attend college. He earned a bachelor’s degree in history from the University of Maryland and a law degree from the Howard University School of Law. In law school, he served as a fellow in the Marshall-Brennan Constitutional Literacy Project, where he spent a year teaching middle and high school students about the U.S. Constitution.

The depth and breadth of Paul’s service to communities locally and globally speak volumes about his commitment to making a meaningful difference. We are fortunate to have in Paul not only someone whose knowledge and expertise in policy, governance, and advocacy will serve us well, but also someone whose personal values align so beautifully with UMBC’s.

He has expressed to me his admiration for UMBC and its public mission, and I know he looks forward to continuing to strengthen our engagement with government officials and our collaboration with UMBC’s neighbors.

Paul will hit the ground running; I am grateful that he is able to begin in the role next week, in preparation for the start of the Maryland General Assembly’s regular session in January, and at a time when our advocacy with local, state, and federal government is more demanding and more consequential than ever.

Please join me in welcoming Paul to UMBC!

Sincerely,

President Valerie Sheares Ashby

In an email to the campus community, UMBC President Valerie Sheares Ashby has announced that D. Paul Monteiro, Jr., will join the university as vice president for government relations and community affairs. The letter follows in full:

Dear UMBC Community,

I am delighted to announce the appointment of D. Paul Monteiro, Jr., as our new vice president for government relations and community affairs. Paul is an experienced administrator and lifelong public servant who has held leadership roles in local, state, and federal government and in higher education. He served most recently as the inaugural secretary of the Maryland Department of Service and Civic Innovation.

Prior to his appointment to Governor Wes Moore’s cabinet in 2023, Paul was nominated by U.S. President Joe Biden and confirmed by the Senate in 2022 as director of the U.S. Department of Justice Community Relations Service (CRS). Created by the Civil Rights Act of 1964, CRS works to mitigate community tensions based on race, color, national origin, sexual orientation, religion, or disability. Paul had served as acting director of CRS from 2015 to 2017, before taking on a role as chief of staff to the president and assistant vice president of external affairs at Howard University.

Paul’s public service goes back many years. He served from 2009 to 2013 in the Obama administration as an associate director in the Office of Public Engagement, and he was appointed by President Barack Obama as national director of AmeriCorps Volunteers in Service to America (VISTA). During his time on the White House staff, Paul coordinated the My Brother’s Keeper mentorship program for young men and served as a liaison to numerous religious, secular, and ethnic communities, including Arab American and Afghan American groups.

A former ex-officio member of the National Counterterrorism Center’s Heritage Council, Paul was awarded a citation from the National Security Council in 2013 for his work on international priorities, including the Global Entrepreneurship Summit, refugee resettlement, and other humanitarian efforts.

Locally, he has served as a member of the Prince George’s County Public Schools Board of Education, the Emerging Leaders Impact Fund in Prince George’s County, the Board of Governors of Wesley Theological Seminary in Washington, D.C., and the Board of Advisors of the Madison House Autism Foundation, based in Rockville.

Raised in Hyattsville, Maryland, Paul is the proud son of immigrants and was the first in his family to attend college. He earned a bachelor’s degree in history from the University of Maryland and a law degree from the Howard University School of Law. In law school, he served as a fellow in the Marshall-Brennan Constitutional Literacy Project, where he spent a year teaching middle and high school students about the U.S. Constitution.

The depth and breadth of Paul’s service to communities locally and globally speak volumes about his commitment to making a meaningful difference. We are fortunate to have in Paul not only someone whose knowledge and expertise in policy, governance, and advocacy will serve us well, but also someone whose personal values align so beautifully with UMBC’s.

He has expressed to me his admiration for UMBC and its public mission, and I know he looks forward to continuing to strengthen our engagement with government officials and our collaboration with UMBC’s neighbors.

Paul will hit the ground running; I am grateful that he is able to begin in the role next week, in preparation for the start of the Maryland General Assembly’s regular session in January, and at a time when our advocacy with local, state, and federal government is more demanding and more consequential than ever.

Please join me in welcoming Paul to UMBC!

Sincerely,

President Valerie Sheares Ashby