The Retriever
Student Organization • 173 people

Posts

1
ChemArt comes to UMBC
With spring upon us, it is time to experience nature and everything it has to offer. This is exactly what you can do at the UMBC Chemistry Department’s ChemArt Festival on April 31. Exhibits will...
April 1, 2017 · 12:45 PM
4
UMBC to transform into ghostly park on weekends
In an effort to combat UMBC’s ghost-town reputation on weekends, University President He-Man Wazowski has approved plans to transform the campus into an amusement park. The plans, presented by a...
April 1, 2017 · 12:43 PM
1
UMBC announces it has more teams than just soccer, basketball and chess
When people think about sports at UMBC, the first thoughts that come to mind are of the men’s soccer team’s legendary final four appearance, those two times men’s basketball was not the butt of...
April 1, 2017 · 12:00 PM
1
Artist Eugene Davis creates custom sculpture for UMBC
Last year, UMBC announced the Pell Vise grant that would award an artist $10,000 to create a unique piece of art that represents the university’s community. It has finally arrived. The...
April 1, 2017 · 11:30 AM
5
Deadly outbreak begins spreading at UMBC campus
At UMBC, an ongoing deadly outbreak of Retriever Fever has led to mass panic within the student body and faculty. Researchers have noted that the strain of Retriever Fever this year may be notably...
April 1, 2017 · 10:11 AM
2
NCAA continues witchhunt against UMBC men’s basketball
The surprising success of the UMBC men’s basketball team has caught the eye of the NCAA once again. The organization is looking into possible violations for this years team a year after vacating...
April 1, 2017 · 10:08 AM
6
Good-bye stationary sidewalks, hello moving walkways
The most common complaint heard at UMBC is the immense amount of stairs students must climb to get to buildings like Fine Arts, Engineering and the PAHB. Students are often seen slowly trudging up...
April 1, 2017 · 10:00 AM
7
Commons to be replaced with massive petting zoo
There have been many rumors floating around about the new petting zoo to be constructed here at UMBC. Officials have recently released information about the top-secret project to build a massive...
April 1, 2017 · 9:45 AM
8
Students stand up to depraved campus geese
The Student Government Association has agreed to allocate funds to Student Life’s newest organization, Retriever in Distress: Geese Eradication Enterprise for a Safer Environment (RID:GEESE)....
April 1, 2017 · 9:22 AM
45
UMBC offers meme degree, world weeps
Do you lack a natural sense of humor? Do you want to tell jokes that will be cringe-inducing and nonsensical within the span of a month of their inception? Do you want to give the world one more...
April 1, 2017 · 9:05 AM
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